Cultivate your network, precisely when you don’t need it.

Let’s be honest, building and maintaining a network full of meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships is hard.  In fact, many folks fail to build a network they can rely on, and those that do build it once have trouble keeping it alive and active.

First of all, let’s define “your network.”  I’d recommend thinking about who are the people you personally care about, who in turn, care about you. That’s your network. 

Many of the opportunities for impact in your life will likely come from the strength of those relationships. But, if you’re like most people, the word “networking” evokes images of awkward meet and greets, uninvited solicitations, and disingenuous interactions at a sponsored event.

The way many people network is, well, gross, but you can, and must, do it differently — and when you do, you’ll have a powerful advantage.

So first rule of thumb?  If you want to build an effective network, you must focus on what you can do for other people, not what they can offer you.  I know this may sound counter intuitive, but its true.

If you're looking for some good guidance on how to build that network, do check out the Career Manifesto by Mike Steib.  He talks about how to do this through the lens of four types of networks: Unfamiliar, Familiar, Intimate, and Meaningful.   He guides you through how to move a connection from being unfamiliar to being part of your own Meaningful Network. 

But once your network is established, you can’t ignore it and hope it is available for you when you need it.  In fact, you should do exactly the opposite: cultivate it precisely when you DON’T need it!  What does this look like? Keep up with them! 

When things are going well for them, notice it.  Congratulate them on their wins, wish them a happy birthday, and remark on their company’s or their partner’s success.  Also, ask for their help, advice, or input on things happening in your world.  People want to feel connected and helpful to others.  

Another important point?  Be there for your meaningful networks’ struggles, too.  When things break the other way for them or they get passed over or have a failure, reach out to them.    What does that look like?  Recommend a recruiter or another job you know about to help them.  Reach out to spend time with them and hear how they deal with setbacks.  In a word, be a good, true friend. 

This same approach has given me and many of my clients the privilege of close friendships, business deals, job opportunities, social invitations, and great memories too. All because they were willing to invest in getting to know and helping people they already liked, without any expectation of getting something in return… and keeping it alive through good times and bad.